Vanessa: When I Found Out I Was Pregnant I had Noone to Turn to

Vanessa is an eighteen year old student living in Essex. She shares with us her experience becoming a young mum in this powerful piece

I wasn’t in a good place when I got pregnant. I was 16. By the time I found out I was pregnant, I felt pretty numb.  

I remember the day I saw those two lines indicating a positive result, my whole world completely turned upside down. I was living every young girl’s worst nightmare. At the time I found out I was pregnant I was afraid and I literally felt I had no one to turn to. The weight of my own embarrassment, shame, self-hatred, and loss of self-worth was too much to bear.

The only person I  feel I could tell was my Aunt .., I asked her not to tell anyone until I was ready. Despite my wishes, one morning she called my mother and told her about my pregnancy.  

My mom was so heart broken she couldn't believe it ...because she trusted me so much and that was the last thing she thought would happen . My father did not even want to talk about it he was so disappointed. My mother then suggested abortion but I was against abortion ..so many people tried to convince me but I didn't change my mind all I wanted was to keep my baby and as a Christian I did not believe in abortion!
My family later on accepted that I was keeping my baby. My mum became very supportive and she was there for me throughout my pregnancy. 

A few months after I gave birth I broke up with my boyfriend because I found out that he was cheating on me. I felt like it was the end of the world because I never wanted to be a single young Mum. I was so heart broken. 

Before I got pregnant the only thing I was really worried about was my school work. Now I have another life to take care of. Having a baby is not like getting a new puppy or a toy. You can't pick it up and play with it whenever you feel like it. She is depending on me every second of the day. Being a young mom has changed me. I became an adult overnight and it's definitely made me a lot more responsible. It has changed me for the better, and now when I am at college I even work harder than before, I thank God for Angel she is a blessing! 

People always judge me for being a young mom but it can happen to anyone! I never wanted a baby at this age and when I found out I was so depressed but she turned out to be a blessing. 

Right now, my 6 month old is sleeping soundly next to me, and in the morning she will greet me with a hundred ear-to-ear smiles, and I couldn’t be happier that she is here. No matter what you are going through, you won’t regret having your baby. That baby will make up for all the sorrow you may be feeling. Just give him/her a chance.

I hope that one day my daughter
Will learn something from my life experience, and I want her to be better than me .
I just want to let the young girls out there know that it's not easy to be a teen mum.
And to all young moms out there, don't listen to what people say they will always judge you. Never give up just concentrate on being a good mum. Even if the baby's father isn't part of the child's life anymore don't let it kill you just work hard for your child ,she or he is here for a reason and they are a blessing. 

By Vanessa Mandimika