Australian youtuber Zoe shares her story about battling depression and anorexia and finding God.

Fai: I was a dark and ugly girl

Faith is a fashion blogger and stylist, she shares her experiences about the bullying she endured as a dark skin girl.

I was 12 years old when I realised that I was dark skinned and that society considered this as ugly and inferior. It was civvies day at my primary school; I had on a pair of black shorts and a black tank top. I was walking towards class and a group of older girls walked past me and one of them shouted “she’s black like coal and she’s wearing black clothes, is she serious.”  All her friends immediately burst out laughing. My heart literally sank, these words put such a hole in my chest and it was in that moment that my self esteem was severely damaged and my self perception clouded. Little did I know that over the next few years insults like these would become an almost daily occurance and that my self esteem and self worth would continue to drop. The first few years of high school were  the worst, I dealt with constant bullying, constantly being told I was ugly and that I was basically worthless. It seemed my dark skin put me in a box of unattractiveness by default.  Each day I went to school I descended deeper into my bottomless hole of self hate.  I would never really cry in front of people nor did I ever try to defend myself or talk to anyone at school about how much these words hurt me.

Mellissa: People would tell me I looked like a boy

Mellisa is a 22 year old Sports Coach and Youth Mentor for Coventry and Warwickshire YMCA. She graduated with 2:1 honours in Sports Therapy (BSc) from Coventry University.  Mellisa was the Miss Zimbabwe UK 2^nd Princess. Mellisa enjoys singing, writing, playing the guitar and playing Basketball.

Everything that you go through, good or bad plays an important part of building your character. I struggled with low self-esteem and lack of confidence from such a young age.  Living in this world felt like I was in a prison, robbed away of my freedom by negative thoughts that I chose to entertain. I never thought I was good enough or pretty enough and it really hurts.

Words are really powerful as they either build or break. The voices from the media, friends and family, sounded really loud in my ears and caused the voice of God to mute. People would say things like, “you look like a boy”, “your feet are too big”, “you look like an ironing board”, the list goes on. I just hated the way I looked and I started eating a lot, hoping that I would have bigger boobs and hips.

I moved to England when I was 13 years old and my  parents still lived in Zimbabwe. It wasn’t easy not having them around and I always felt like I wasn’t loved and in believing those lies I shut down myself. I lived my teenage life carrying a burden which I created myself. Most of the times I preferred my own company. I found comfort in writing stories, writing songs, singing, drawing, reading and playing sports. This allowed me to escape from reality and also to bring me happiness that I didn’t find in my life, but still it didn’t satisfy me.

I am grateful that my mum taught me how to pray. After I turned 17, I started having an interest in learning more about God. In doing so, the scales were removed from my darkened eyes and I began to understand the love of God. I knew the truth and my identity.

The word looked a thousand times brighter and I felt a thousand times lighter.

I would be lying if I tell you that all the pain and the hurt completely vanished but the thing I knew was that it was the beginning of a new journey.  Some days it was even harder than before.  Just like silver, it has to go through the fire. With time, I learnt to love myself and most importantly, I believed it in my heart. It felt like a heavy burden was being constantly being taken away. Freedom!!

  

To help me with my confidence, I started coaching Basketball in schools as a volunteer and later on I was offered a job by YMCA as a Sports coach and a Youth Worker. I never thought I would be in a position where I will be inspiring young people. Working with the YMCA gives me the platform to mentor and support young people. I have been privileged to deliver sessions on, body image, risks of smoking, healthy eating, mental health, sexual health, bullying and substance misuse. One of my greatest accomplishments, was winning an award as a Young Worker of the year and I was featured in the local newspaper (Coventry Telegraph) alongside the Mayor of Coventry.

  

I am grateful to God that I can truly be myself and I have been able to build positive relationships around me.  Let us learn to love one another, to pray for one another and to encourage one another. Each day I want to be an instrument to bring the truth to young people who are going through the same situation I went through, to give them advice and to empower them.

Rutendo: I remember hearing rumours that I was dating my aunt's husband

Rutendo is a student from Kingston she shares her story about how she experienced bullying from her own family and the devastating impact on her self-esteem. 

I hope my story will inspire and help another person overcome the same barriers that I have had to overcome.

I grew up around relatives who didn’t say the nicest things. Its only now looking back, I realised I am a very strong woman, God made me strong. It is difficult to put it into words so that another person reading this can understand. Ndakakura ndiri mwana aitaurwa [growing up I was a child that was talked about], and the things said were so heart breaking. I couldn't believe that such things came from my own relatives. People saw that I was quiet so they trampled on me not knowing they are damaging the self-esteem of a young girl.

Mercy: Kusina Amai Hakuendwe

Mercy is a twenty year old student residing in Leicester, she shares her story about losing her mother at the age of thirteen and subsequently becoming homeless at the age of seventeen.

I’m still standing

For the longest time I questioned why bad things happen to good people, why do we sometimes go through situations that we feel our hearts and souls cannot bear. As a Christian I looked up to the man himself “God” for the answers, my heart so needed to heal and to be honest for a while I lost my faith I asked myself why he would desert me. For years I cried, I was in pain, the worst kind ,I went through things my young mind “thought” I couldn’t handle, but as difficult as things were I had to put my big girl panties on and life had to go on.

I lost my mother at 13, she fell ill straight after giving birth to my youngest sister. Straight after she was admitted into hospital and as a child I didn’t understand the severity of the situation in my mind she was going to be “okay”. Within my culture I feel as though our parents try to shield and protect us from the truth which at times is necessary but looking back I feel cheated of time and lied to.

The first time we went to the hospital I remember feeling uneasy I did not know what to expect, it had been a couple of weeks since I last saw my mother. When I finally laid my eyes on her she had changed, physically she had lost weight, and cut off her hair wasn’t the same woman I had known all my life, the energy was no longer there and as bad as it sounds it was as if someone had sucked the life out of her. I sat by the bed side and we had a chat about how things were, if I was okay and keeping well , how she was and of course we all tried to keep straight faces , smiles  but hearts filled with fear and eyes with tears.

Kingsli: My Own Father Still Finds it Pleasurable to Demolish My Treasure

Kingsli is a Zimbabwean young entrepreneur residing in Birmingham. He is a youth representative for the homeless in parliament. Kingsli speaks about the psychological, physical, emotional and spiritual impact of child sexual abuse in another powerful poem. 

Broken Chords

I usually have daily routines where I take time and find quiet places to think 

As I am one of those fools that despise the idea of finding a book to read

I walked down a path one day till I reached a river 

Only to find a vulnerable girl holding a rope and oh she couldn't help but shiver.

I quickly reached out as she was tying the last knot

"Hold on," I said to her but she quickly responded, "am Opting out"

Vanessa: When I Found Out I Was Pregnant I had Noone to Turn to

Vanessa is an eighteen year old student living in Essex. She shares with us her experience becoming a young mum in this powerful piece

I wasn’t in a good place when I got pregnant. I was 16. By the time I found out I was pregnant, I felt pretty numb.  

I remember the day I saw those two lines indicating a positive result, my whole world completely turned upside down. I was living every young girl’s worst nightmare. At the time I found out I was pregnant I was afraid and I literally felt I had no one to turn to. The weight of my own embarrassment, shame, self-hatred, and loss of self-worth was too much to bear.

Michelle: They say I'm his next baby mama

Michelle is a Zimbabwean residing in Luton. She is a young woman hoping to empower you with Self Love. She shares her thoughts on the esteem issues Zimbabwean women face everyday.

They say you're too skinny for a black girl
They say you have to many scars on your face
The say you need curves
They say the way I dress is provocative
They say I just go from one man to another
They say I'm his next baby mama
But what they have forgotten I'm a woman
I struggle with my weight
The scares on my face are the one he gave me
I don't have those curves because this is my shape
I dress this way to get his attention
I don't want to be jumping from one man to another it's just that I'm looking for love
My self esteem is so low I feel like if I have his child he will love me even more
They forget that I am woman
Lost,broken,abused and scared to be alone . 

My prayer is to a woman who feels like this everyday Love yourself as God loves you. Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

By Michelle 

Kingsli: It is Evident We Abandoned Them

Kingsli is a Zimbabwean young entrepreneur residing in Birmingham. He is a youth representative for the homeless in parliament. Kingsli speaks about how Zimbabwean men don't appreciate their women enough in this thoughtful poem

                                           

 A Brother's Feet in Heels

Yes, they are strong black women of color,
And they were made to be with a black brother.

They need time and attention just like the rest,
They strive each day to survive and give us best.

It is evident that they have been abandoned by men, yes us. Men.
We no longer  appreciate all they do over and again.

Is it their hair, skin and their ability to be strong,
They struggle each day to look good and belong.