Mellissa: People would tell me I looked like a boy

Mellisa is a 22 year old Sports Coach and Youth Mentor for Coventry and Warwickshire YMCA. She graduated with 2:1 honours in Sports Therapy (BSc) from Coventry University.  Mellisa was the Miss Zimbabwe UK 2^nd Princess. Mellisa enjoys singing, writing, playing the guitar and playing Basketball.

Everything that you go through, good or bad plays an important part of building your character. I struggled with low self-esteem and lack of confidence from such a young age.  Living in this world felt like I was in a prison, robbed away of my freedom by negative thoughts that I chose to entertain. I never thought I was good enough or pretty enough and it really hurts.

Words are really powerful as they either build or break. The voices from the media, friends and family, sounded really loud in my ears and caused the voice of God to mute. People would say things like, “you look like a boy”, “your feet are too big”, “you look like an ironing board”, the list goes on. I just hated the way I looked and I started eating a lot, hoping that I would have bigger boobs and hips.

I moved to England when I was 13 years old and my  parents still lived in Zimbabwe. It wasn’t easy not having them around and I always felt like I wasn’t loved and in believing those lies I shut down myself. I lived my teenage life carrying a burden which I created myself. Most of the times I preferred my own company. I found comfort in writing stories, writing songs, singing, drawing, reading and playing sports. This allowed me to escape from reality and also to bring me happiness that I didn’t find in my life, but still it didn’t satisfy me.

I am grateful that my mum taught me how to pray. After I turned 17, I started having an interest in learning more about God. In doing so, the scales were removed from my darkened eyes and I began to understand the love of God. I knew the truth and my identity.

The word looked a thousand times brighter and I felt a thousand times lighter.

I would be lying if I tell you that all the pain and the hurt completely vanished but the thing I knew was that it was the beginning of a new journey.  Some days it was even harder than before.  Just like silver, it has to go through the fire. With time, I learnt to love myself and most importantly, I believed it in my heart. It felt like a heavy burden was being constantly being taken away. Freedom!!

  

To help me with my confidence, I started coaching Basketball in schools as a volunteer and later on I was offered a job by YMCA as a Sports coach and a Youth Worker. I never thought I would be in a position where I will be inspiring young people. Working with the YMCA gives me the platform to mentor and support young people. I have been privileged to deliver sessions on, body image, risks of smoking, healthy eating, mental health, sexual health, bullying and substance misuse. One of my greatest accomplishments, was winning an award as a Young Worker of the year and I was featured in the local newspaper (Coventry Telegraph) alongside the Mayor of Coventry.

  

I am grateful to God that I can truly be myself and I have been able to build positive relationships around me.  Let us learn to love one another, to pray for one another and to encourage one another. Each day I want to be an instrument to bring the truth to young people who are going through the same situation I went through, to give them advice and to empower them.