Charlene: My family members used to bully me

Charlene is a University student and model she shares her story of how she experienced bullying from the very ones who were supposed to support her.

Growing up I was always polite and respectful to my elders. I loved my family dearly and loved my friends too. However life at a young age for me turned very sour when I had to live with my aunties for a while.  You know how most people have family to run to when facing problems;. I did not have that. Instead it was my family members that used to bully me.  What people need to understand about bullying is, it's the worst feeling that can sometimes have a permanent effect on an individual.  Its a feeling of helplessness, paralyzed by fear and shame.  It can make you feel so depressed and alone and should never be taken lightly.   

I remember I used to enjoy being at school more than going back home at times because I was free at school. I had friends who made me laugh and we would play games and enjoy each other's company.  While home should be where I look forward to getting back to, I dreaded it at times. I was bullied by family members who would belittle me as a person. I was younger than them and all I had was a big heart that was crushed bit by by with their name calling.  I was called fat and ugly by family members. They would even call me 2 in 1 referring to my body size being so big for my age. Funny enough looking back I never realised that I actually was a normal size for my age but the name calling only made me believe other wise.  

Now I reflect back on my life and realise I was just a beautiful young girl. I was pretty and vulnerable and it so happened to be entertainment for these family members to see me cry when they dug at me with hurtful words.  At one point I was called a prostitute for no reason and accused of many things I had never done wrong.  It affected me physically, emotionally and mentally. My school grades started to get the lowest rankings in our classes.   

One day I realised that those words could not hurt me anymore and I chose to be strong for myself.  Do not get me wrong, this is not a sad story. I can only hope it is a inspiration for other people who have been oppressed by the fear of what other people think of them. I learnt that in life you will meet people who are insecure in their own rights or just unpleasant towards you.  Do not ever let the words that come out of their mouths bind you to not stand up for yourself.  I know it may be easier said than done but I believe in you and I know you can do it.  The worst any person can do to you is to let you believe the negatives they say about you to be true. But the thing is how can you let someone else tell you about yourself? They do not live inside your body , neither do they control it.  Learn to stand up for yourself and chose to believe in yourself.

I look back now and realise that in life you must learn to believe in yourself and never let anybody tell you other wise. Weather you do something good or something bad, humans will always have negative comments and in most cases it is a reflection of how they feel about issues in their own life.  Now I am a student at the University of Hertfordshire looking to graduate in 2016 and those people that spoke badly of me are in a different situation right now. God has a plan for each and every one of us and we must learn to forgive and believe that he will make a way.